move

been a bit busy. new flat. 3 weeks later and still no internet, although possibly entirely my own fault. that should be fixed soon.

just before spring

im sorting myself out. i have made plans. overall im feeling in control. the new job is going well. im doing well. the weather is nice. i look forward.

smug?

completely inadequate? too slow?? just plain stupid??? or 'maybe i have a piece of potato permanently stuck to my face that only other people can see? that would look really unprofessional and would explain why i cannot get a job... hmm surely my friends would have told me about it though!?' maybe my feet are too big or something? it took a while, but i finally got an interesting job offer... im happy... relieved, and, dare i say, enthusiastic? i might have just turned myself into a corporate slave but im obviously ecstatic at the thought of embracing consumerism again. now i can buy myself stuff again...

back

i have now been back back in london for 3 weeks. i have sent out over 40 cvs and i have been to a total of 5 interviews. so far i have also worked 3 and a half hours for an events company. rock'n'roll.
despite the circumstances im quite happy. this may be due to newly self-imposed celibacy. no risk of infection, no diseases, no performance anxiety, no sexual incompatibility, no unrealistic expectations. i dont feel like i am repressing, in fact i find it quite empowering, but i am postponing: i have bigger fish to fry.

yummy

ive been in france for over a week now. xmas eve dinner tonight with family. not in a rush to go back to london. changed my return ticket from dec.29th to jan.15th.

self validation

him: do you have a blog?
me: er... no (!)
him: yeah, i didnt think you were the kind of guy who needs external validation
me: er... no (?)

day in day out

temping: on and off
mood: up and down
bloggable events: 0
days before i go to france: 8

pimp my cv

did not work last week. drank too much, smoked too much. spent too much money... good fun though. all this time on my hands, i could have been documenting the ups and downs of temping on here, but i dont seem to be in the mood lately.

second temp assignment starting tomorrow. still going to interviews for real jobs but nothing seems to be happening. the positive side of things: im getting quite good at bullshitting my way through interviews with recruitment consultants.
i hate that!

went to bar chocolate on friday night. i hadnt been drinking in a while so i got inabriated quite quickly. on sunday took a walk along the thames and ended up in tower bridge.

id rather be unemployed

temping sucks.

saw 'the beat that my heart skipped' loved it. same director as 'read my lips'. great films.

no sex last night

had dinner with my ex and half jokingly mentioned sleeping together again. we decided not to. this time.

started temping today. yes.

saw crash with my flatmate (pirate dvd subtitled in hebrew) and it was good! made me changed my mind about sandra bullock.

nb. the title for this post is borrowed to sophie calle.

status quo remains

progress is slow but i havent turned into a potato yet. idleness gets frustrating sometimes but i usually manage to remain undeterred. i have reached an unsuspected level of self discipline.

how my week has gone

i dunno... very quickly, that's for sure. i haven't done half the things i wanted/was supposed to do, and i don't think i've been particularly lazy, i am actually looking for a job!

ça plane pour moi

tomorrow is my last day at work. i have no job lined up.

dolce far niente

love.

sicily

off to sicily for a week, flying to palermo tomorrow afternoon. ill be meeting my sister there. the plan is to hop around the island as much as we can... although we don't really have a plan.

tidy up?

i was on the tube the other day and i was thinking "if a bomb goes off on this train and i never make it outside this tunnel, someone will have to deal with the mess i left my place in today". just a (stupid) thought. need a holiday maybe.

august day

i have now been in london for 5 years (since yesterday actually).

i left france telling my parents i wanted to travel a bit, i didnt tell them much actually, probably that i wanted to get a job or something... i was kinda vague. i didnt really know myself. i think somehow my mum knew i wouldn't be back though. i didn't know. didn't know anyone in london, didn't know the city. i had no clue. my friends were quite impressed, they thought i was "brave", thats the word they used. but to me it was a necessary move. i was bored . my life was becoming suffocating.

it felt pretty exciting booking a single eurostar ticket... discovering london, exhilarating. i did all kinds of jobs when i first arrived, mainly the kinds that pay peanuts but i always remember my first few months in london with fondness.

today london is where my life is. 5 years being a fifth of my age; does that make me a fifth british?!?

utter superfluousness

i was made redundant on monday. i badly needed a kick in the ass. i was stuck in a job that had started making me unhappy. but at the same time it was comfortable... so now that the decision has been made for me i think im actually quite relieved.

it's bastille day in france, happy birthday revolution.